Feeling uncomfortable around others is a common struggle, whether you’re meeting new people, attending social events, or engaging in everyday conversations. Social anxiety, overthinking, and fear of judgment can make interactions feel overwhelming, but the good news is that confidence in social settings can be learned. Here’s how you can become more comfortable around people and improve your social skills.

1. Understand That Most People Aren’t Judging You

One of the biggest reasons people feel uneasy in social situations is the fear of being judged. In reality, most people are too focused on themselves to scrutinize your every move. Instead of worrying about what others think, remind yourself that they’re likely dealing with their own concerns and insecurities.

2. Shift Your Focus to the Other Person

Instead of overanalyzing your words or actions, shift your attention to the person you’re talking to. Ask open-ended questions, listen actively, and show genuine interest. Not only does this make interactions smoother, but it also takes the pressure off you.

3. Start Small and Build Up

If socializing makes you anxious, ease into it by starting with smaller interactions. Say hello to a coworker, make small talk with a cashier, or chat briefly with a neighbor. Gradually increasing these interactions helps build confidence over time.

4. Improve Your Body Language

Your body language can impact how comfortable you feel and how others perceive you. Try these simple adjustments:

• Maintain eye contact (but don’t stare).

• Keep an open posture—uncrossed arms and relaxed shoulders.

• Smile when appropriate—it makes you seem approachable and helps ease tension.

5. Prepare Conversation Starters

If you struggle with small talk, prepare a few go-to topics. These can include:

• Compliments (“I love your jacket! Where did you get it?”)

• Observations about the environment (“This place has such a nice vibe.”)

• Light personal questions (“Have you been here before?”)

Having a few ideas in mind can help prevent awkward silences and keep the conversation flowing.

6. Practice Active Listening

People love to feel heard. Instead of thinking about what you’ll say next, focus on truly listening. Nod, make small verbal affirmations (“That’s interesting!” or “I see what you mean”), and ask follow-up questions to show engagement.

7. Embrace the Awkwardness

No one is perfect at socializing all the time. Awkward moments happen to everyone, even the most confident people. Instead of overanalyzing a social misstep, laugh it off and move on. The more you accept that occasional awkwardness is normal, the less pressure you’ll feel.

8. Join Activities That Encourage Interaction

Being part of a group with a shared interest can make socializing easier. Consider joining a club, attending a class, or participating in a community event where conversations happen naturally. This reduces the pressure of forced small talk.

9. Challenge Negative Self-Talk

If you constantly tell yourself, “I’m awkward” or “I’m bad at socializing,” you’ll start believing it. Instead, reframe your mindset:

• Instead of “I’m bad at talking to people,” try “I’m improving my social skills.”

• Instead of “People won’t like me,” try “I have value to offer in conversations.”

The way you talk to yourself affects your confidence—choose words that build you up.

10. Give Yourself Grace and Keep Practicing

Becoming more comfortable around people doesn’t happen overnight. It takes practice, patience, and self-compassion. Celebrate small victories, whether it’s initiating a conversation or staying engaged in a group discussion longer than usual. The more you put yourself out there, the easier it becomes.

Final Thoughts

Social confidence isn’t about being the loudest or most outgoing person in the room—it’s about feeling comfortable being yourself around others. By shifting your focus, practicing small interactions, and challenging self-doubt, you can build the confidence needed to navigate social situations with ease.

What’s one small step you can take today to feel more at ease around people? Let me know in the comments!